15 Ways to Get Out of Going Christmas Shopping With Your Spouse...

#1 - Take 24 boxes of laxatives and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

#2 - Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

#3 – Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

#4 - Walk up to an employee and tell her in an official tone, Code 3 in housewares..... and watch what happens.

#5 - Go to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.

#6 - Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

#7 - Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

#8 - When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

#9 - Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

#10 - While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

#11 - Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

#12 - In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

#13 - Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

#14 - When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And, last, but not least!)

#15 - Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait awhile; then, yell, very loudly,

"There is no toilet paper in here!"